Smashing patriarchy daily.

These guys have gotten me through the past few days and I owe them a lot. I’m so lucky to have them in my life and they are very dear to me.

Today is my 22nd birthday. It feels sort of strange. I’m growing up and finally becoming an adult. We’re gonna do laser tag tonight and I’m gonna OWN.

Taylor and I broke up. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet so I’m not going to post anything about it until I do.

FYI, the name of the film has been changed to Sunken Garden. I’m now the 2nd Assistant Director. FUCK YES. We’ll be shooting for the next month or so if anyone’s interested in helping out.

I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO SEE MOON THIS WEEKEND! SCI-FI RULES!

I have a confession to make: I’m obsessed with the HBO series True Blood. The show has all of the elements I need: it’s witty, hypersexual, gruesome, and extremely progressive. However, what’s most satisfyingly shocking is the way in which the show promotes a gay agenda. The subtext of the show creates a link between vampires and the gay community. For example, the vampires in this world are tired of hiding from society and pretending to be something they’re not, so they have decided to “come out” (as they refer to it on the show). This has created an uproar from the religious right who claim that the vampires are less-than-human and will taint their children and the church. On the other side, the left adamantly defends these creatures, insisting that they deserve the same civil rights as humans. Further, there is some hinting at the legalization of human/vampire marriage (ahem–remind you of any current political battles?). Another bold move is the fact that there is a gay, black character, Lafayette, who shares an onscreen interracial kiss with one of his “clients” in Season 1. This is pretty groundbreaking stuff, considering the mainstream’s usual heteronormative leanings.

Now this is all well and great, but what of a feminist agenda? Unfortunately, the show doesn’t have one–at least not from what I’ve seen. One issue I have is the show’s treatment of women, particularly the principal character Sookie. Unlike her feminist predecessor Buffy who was intelligent, sexy, and kicked ass,  Sookie is only sexy and… well, helpless. In fact, she has two men constantly competing for her attention, all-the-while trying to “protect” her (and her innocence?) from the supernatural world that they inhabit. Sure, she has mind-reading capabilities, but physically she is useless.

Another problem I see is the extensive focus the show places on Sookie’s virginity (and loss thereof). Sookie falls for Bill, a vampire who is 150 years her senior, and much of the kink on the show comes from the sexual tension between the two. Now believe me, I find that aspect to be quite a turn on. It’s just that Bill is such a traditional protector and father figure that he hardly gives Sookie a chance to think and act for herself.

As a feminist I’m often torn by these situations. While I enjoy the show and it’s subversive commentary, I still dislike the vulnerability of the main female character. Perhaps this will change as the series unravels, but something tells me it won’t. A’la Twilight.

I feel like things are coming together somewhat for me. The film industry is such an awkward thing to jump into, and requires a lot of working for free, but I feel like I’m finding my footing. On top of that, the Austin scene is so small! It’s cool that it’s such a tight-knit community but it seems like I know everyone on set every time I start a new production.

The Barton Springs shoot (now being called Sunken Garden) is off to a great start. We shot at Daily Juice on Friday and J.Kelly’s BBQ today. The crew seems to be very calm and under control and there is little pretension. In addition to my (ir)regular PA duties, I also took on the responsibility of location scouting. However, I decided to discuss the possibility of stepping up in rank with the 1st AD. We recently lost our 2nd AD and I was hoping that I might be able to take her position since I’m willing to dedicate the time and commitment required. He said he would consider it and he wants me to begin helping him in the production office. I’m really excited about dedicating the rest of my summer toward this project and I have a feeling it will pay off in the long run.

So, I moved out of the H.M.S. Hazard and into Taylor’s apartment until House of Commons is ready in late August. It kind of scares me because it’s a big step but it’s also temporary which relieves some of my anxieties about it. I will never live with a boyfriend again–I experienced it when I was 17 and I’m totally done with any permanent sort of situation.

Well, I’m going to watch some cartoons and go to sleep. Shooting again in the morning!